My sister sent me this goofy thing this week: 33 Animals Who Are Extremely Disappointed in You. I am completely in love with the Corgi at the end who thinks I’m doing fine and is so proud of me.

Let’s face it: we all screw up constantly. We let ourselves and others down. We do stupid things even when we know better. All of that is so easy for us to see, but how often do you get credit for all you’re doing right?

If you’ve been waiting around for anyone other than your dog to tell you that you’re a-okay and deserving of admiration, you might be waiting a while, depending on how gushy the people around you are.  Even if you are surrounded by cheerleaders, compliments and encouragement from others can be hard to accept sometimes.

You have to be your own Inner Corgi.

If feeling self-accepting and proud of your accomplishments is hard, allow yourself to feel it for just 15 seconds or just 5% more. Imagine what it might feel like to look at yourself the way that Corgi was looking at you. Then keep practicing that.

Being disappointed with yourself is a HABIT, and you can change that habit if you do it gently and gradually.

To keep myself in close touch with my Inner Corgi, I printed out that little guy’s photo and put it on the wall in my office. Now every time I look at it, I think, “You’re doing just fine. I’m really proud of you!”

Yes, it’s a bit reminiscent of Stuart Smalley, but don’t let that deter you. Practice telling yourself something that feels plausible.

If a general “I’m proud of you” doesn’t feel genuine to you right now, get very specific. Tell yourself, “I’m proud of you for trying,” or “I’m proud of you because I know your heart is in the right place,” and then LEAVE OFF the part where you want to say “even though you’re a miserable failure.” No even-thoughs.

Your Turn

What do you think? Can you channel your Inner Corgi? Have you played around with changing your inner self-talk? How has it worked for you?

Photo by Andy Armstrong

How well do you maintain the most precious tool in your creative work?

No, I’m not talking about your computer or paintbrushes.

I’m talking about you—your mind and body.

Over the last year or two, I’ve started skimping on sleep, but when I look at almost any challenge in my creative work, I see how being tired plays a central role in the problem.

Whether you’re struggling with procrastination, overwhelm, self-doubt, indecision or lack of time, those creative demons tend to pounce when you’re tired.

Changing habits is hard, but I’m using the Kaizen-Muse coaching model to develop a new sleep habit to ensure a more refreshed and energetic me. Then I can be more creative and productive and more confidently send my message out into the world.

What keeps me on track with this goal is thinking of rest as maintenance of what Jill Badonsky calls “a precious instrument of the creative process.” That would be me!

Until I realized the impact a lack of sleep had been having on me, I was operating like a college kid, staying up late and worrying about the next day when it came. But now, I’m increasingly aware that my body and mind are tools in my creative work and business.

If I were a car mechanic, would I leave my tools lying out in the rain? Hell, no! Would a pilot take off in a plane that was behind on maintenance? As a potential passenger, I certainly hope not! Would I spill coffee on my laptop? Well…actually, yes, I did that by accident one day, and guess what. I had to buy a new laptop. I simply can’t do my work without this critical writing tool functioning properly.

James Taylor takes impeccable care of his fingernails because his signature fingerpicking guitar style depends on them. Many singers avoid dairy products before a performance to protect the quality of their voice. Movie stars spend hours at the gym so we’ll all enjoy gawking at their physiques on the big screen. And my work as a writer, coach and teacher requires mental alertness and energy, so I need adequate sleep.

My mind and body are tools.

Once I peeled away the layers of my sleep resistance, I understood that I wasn’t valuing myself as a human resource. When I think of myself as a tool (go ahead and snicker), no amount of rationalizing or resistance can lure me into staying up too late. Staying up too late is the equivalent of pouring coffee on my keyboard. (Come to think of it, it also makes spilling coffee on my keyboard more likely.)

Your Turn

How well are you maintaining yourself as a precious instrument of the creative process?

Where is there room for improvement?

Does thinking of your mental and physical energy as tools in this way inspire you to take better care of yourself?

Please leave a comment!

Photo by Pison Jaujip

Sometimes you learn what to do by figuring out what not to do.

Every summer, I go on a “vacation” where I share a bedroom in my elderly parents’ house with my son for 5 weeks and don’t get any respite from child care or elder care for 2 1/2 of those weeks. Don’t do that.

Here’s why. You become an awful parent.

At first, it’s no big deal. I lighten up a bit about some of the more arbitrary family rules. We are on vacation, after all, so why sweat the small stuff?

By the end of the 2 ½ weeks, my son is eating candy pretty much every day, watching way too much TV, saying things like, “What the hell?” and giving a flat no to my requests. I basically become the Permissive Parent from Hell. Because I’m on duty 24/7, I don’t have any time to reflect on what’s happening or check my inner compass. I operate completely in reaction mode and lose sight of what matters to me as a parent, trading my true values for ease and expedience.

This can happen with your creative work as well. If you work nonstop, things can get ugly.

For one thing, it gets very easy to become rather undisciplined. Here are a few examples. Do any of these sound like you?

• You compulsively check email or Facebook instead of working productively on your creative project.
• You flit from one task to another without setting priorities.
• You work long hours but have very little to show for it.
• You’re considering quitting.
• Your to-do list is a mile long and there is really no way you would ever complete all the tasks.

If you’re experiencing any of these things, it’s time for some R&R – retreat and reflection.

Retreat

Sometimes not working is a valid part of your work. You lose perspective if you’re always in the same environment doing similar things. So retreat encompasses two ideas: time off and time away.

Photo by Ricardo Liberato

You don’t need solitude in a remote mountain cabin in order to retreat. You just need a change of scenery. It could be as simple as looking out the window for a while (NOT the window in your office or studio), going for a walk, or hanging out at your favorite café for a couple of hours. One of my favorite retreat venues is my bathtub.

Sound too wonderful to count as work? Ditch the guilt. You will perform infinitely better on your project if you do this, so just do it. Regularly.

Reflection

Now that you’ve stopped working and are in your happy place, what makes this part of the work and not just goofing off is using the time to reflect. Here are a few questions you might take the time to ponder:

• Why did I start this project in the first place? Am I achieving the goals I had? If not, what can I do differently?
• What are my most important values, and how do I want them to show up in my practice?
• Are there ways in which I’ve been operating out of alignment with what’s important to me?
• What is the greater mission behind my work, and what do I need to be doing to serve that purpose?
• What have I been spending more time on than it deserves?
• What do I want to spend more time on?
• What have I been tolerating that is holding me back?
• Where should my focus be right now?
• What is my next step?

Copyright 2011 by Sue Mitchell

Taking time to reflect will be, um, reflected in your productivity. Your work will be an expression of your highest self and larger purpose, and you’ll be clear about what you need to do.

Your Turn

How often do you stop working for retreat and reflection?

What are your favorite ways to do it?

What other suggestions do you have for questions to consider during a retreat?

I’d love to hear your comments.

If you’re feeling like creative time is one more ball to juggle when our lives are already very full, hoping to one day “find the time” is not going to work. We have to create the time.

Once you make a conscious decision to create time for your creative work, you may be surprised at how easy it is.

Try some of these approaches:

1. Eliminate time clutter.

Time clutter is created by all the things we don’t really need to do.

Here are a few questions to help you test whether one of the balls you’re juggling is actually clutter:

• Could or should someone else do this?
• Do I love doing this?
• Do I feel good about doing this, rather than resentful or bored?
• If I don’t do this, will it make any difference tomorrow, next week or a year from now?
• Is there a shortcut method for doing this that would be good enough?
• Could I do this half as often without any significant damage done?

Classic examples of time clutter include excessive TV watching and/or internet surfing, keeping a spotless home or doing more than your share of the housework, sticking to a brutal blogging schedule, and driving to a gym instead of walking or jogging in your own neighborhood (or my favorite, dancing in your living room).

The more you look for time clutter, the more you’ll find. Make it an ongoing quest.

And no, reading this blog post isn’t time clutter. This is a great use of your time. Read on!

2.  Spend 10 minutes, preferably right now, making a list of creative activities you can do in short blocks of time.

Keep your list handy for when you do have a small amount of time, so you can get right to work and make the most of these “stolen moments.”

Your list will vary depending on what type of creative work you do, but here are some items from my list of quick writing tasks:

• Brainstorm a writing project with a mind map or list.
• Write a haiku or cinquain poem.
• Write a quick journal entry using one of the prompts in LifeJournal*.
• Write a description of something interesting in my environment.
• Add to my Memory List (a lifewriting tool).
• Write a short snippet of dialogue.
• Pull out an old piece of writing, reread and make a few revisions.
• Read, with awareness of craft, a short passage by a writer whose work I admire.

(I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that you can subscribe to my Creative Juice prompts to always have ideas for creative activities that don’t require a large block of time.)

3. Carve out a regular creative practice time that is at least one hour, but preferably two.

If you really have a lot of balls in the air, “regular” doesn’t have to mean daily or even weekly. It might mean once every other week or even once a month, if that’s all you feel you can swing right now. But don’t let your sense that you can’t do it more frequently lead you to not do it at all.

Create that time by eliminating time clutter and then protect it fiercely. If you’ll be taking this time when family members are around, let them know your plans and enlist their support.

Conjure up an image of your own personal bodyguard who stands by you as you assert your decision to take this time for your creative work. If anyone tries to mess with that time, relish the feeling of standing strong and defending it. Protect it the same way you would if someone were trying to kidnap your child — in a way, they are (no violence, though, and no calling 911).

(I regularly offer free parallel work sessions to create this sacred time for myself and others. A new series starts February 24.)

4. Protect your energy.

Sometimes when we say we don’t have time, really what we mean is that we don’t have energy. We’re so busy juggling all our responsibilities that when we do get a chunk of time for creative work, we don’t feel like doing it.

Take steps to protect your energy so this is less likely to happen. That means getting enough sleep, avoiding too many sweets, drinking lots of water, getting outside, moving your body often, and taking quiet time to recharge. You know the drill. Protect your energy with the same bodyguard persona you use to protect your creative practice time.

Your Turn

How do you create time for your creative work? How do you protect that time? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

My Brain on Overwhelm

It’s been hard to get around to posting because I have been overwhelmed lately with Things To Do. For the most part, they are things I want to do, but there are just so many. A short post on overwhelm seems to be in order, if only to remind myself how to handle it.

I could give you a list of steps or insights on how to handle overwhelm, but Ali Davies really nailed it when she pointed out in The Hidden Cause of Feeling Overwhelmed that it’s always best to look at the root cause of a problem, and in the case of our feelings, the root cause is always a thought.

After revisiting her post, I’ve been trying to identify what the thoughts are that are making me feel so overwhelmed. Here are a few I’ve come up with:

• I am the General Manager of the Universe, so I’m responsible for making sure everything that could ever need to be done does in fact get done…and, most likely, by me.
• If I don’t keep up with what everyone is doing and stay visible all the time, I will become irrelevant.
• I can juggle three very different and time-intensive income streams, spend time with my family here and 2,000 miles away, and have time to relax and live an adventurous life, all while looking better at 50 than I did at 40.
• I could come up with more, but just those three have me so overwhelmed that my brain is malfunctioning.

So. I’ve unconsciously been feeding myself a bunch of lies.

The truth is that it is not our lives or our work that overwhelms us. We overwhelm ourselves with unreasonable expectations.

What now?

I need new thoughts.

• I am happy to contribute as time and energy allow.
• It’s okay for me to ask for help. People like to help.
• Facebook has proven that even after not hearing from you for 30+ years, people still remember and like you and welcome you back into their lives.
• It’s okay and desirable to go underground for a while when you’re working on creative projects that require your focus and attention.
• Spending time on things that restore me (like my family, relaxation, etc.) gives me the energy I need to tend to all the many facets of my life while staying healthy. (Thanks to Carole Jane Treggett and Charlotte Rains Dixon for the reminder on that one.)

Your Turn

How about you? If you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, what thoughts are causing that? What thoughts can you choose to think instead?

Besides expanding my vocabulary (FYI, liminal means at a threshold or transitional stage), Patti got me thinking about why we sometimes hesitate to make changes that we think we want. We dream of becoming a published author, taking an adventurous trip or quitting a job to start a business, but when the time comes to take action on it, we balk.

Usually people attribute their hesitation to fear, typically either fear of failure or fear of success. No doubt those are valid explanations a lot of the time. But I’d like to suggest another possibility: dreaming may simply seem more fun than doing the work necessary to realize your dream.

While we imagine what our dream project might be like, all things are possible. It can turn out exactly the way we hope, if we’re experiencing it all in the comfort of our armchair. Oh, the fun to be had doing research, jotting ideas and fantasizing about realizing our creative potential! It’s cheaper, too, and leaves plenty of time for surfing the internet.

And then comes the time to take those first real steps and…hmm…is this really what I want to do? Do I really want to work that hard? What if I do all this stuff to realize my dream, and it turns out I don’t really like it that much after all? Didn’t that happen to me with that kid Gary I had that devastating crush on in high school? What a loser he turned out to be!

Yes, my friends, if you have in mind a truly inspiring project, chances are you’re going to have to alter your behavior in a pretty significant way to make it come true. If that weren’t the case, you would have already done it by now, right?

So. Will it be worth all that effort? And how can you possibly know in advance?

You can’t.

But this you can know:

Dedicating yourself to making the changes necessary to follow through on your creative dream will absolutely result in the following benefits to your life:

You will increase your self-confidence by doing things you weren’t sure you could do.

You will feel more fulfilled, because hard work is very satisfying (at least afterward).

You will become more interesting and attractive. People who are trying new things and pushing past their old limitations are fascinating to talk to and draw people to them.

You will develop better problem-solving skills as you overcome the inevitable hurdles.

You will have more self-respect. Not acting on their creative dreams leads people to question themselves and call themselves names (like chicken, lazy, procrastinator, etc.)

You will grow in resourcefulness as you follow your dream to places you haven’t gone before.

Your patience, perseverence and focus will improve. All creative work requires these traits, and the more you practice them, the stronger they’ll become.

You will learn to detach from the outcomes you desire as forces beyond your control have their way with your project.

These are the benefits gained from creative work, whether you end up liking what comes of your efforts or not.

So should you go for it?

YES!

Your Turn

Let me know in the comments if this rings true to you.

Have you ever hesitated to follow through on your dreams because it simply felt too hard?

Have you found ways to make the effort and challenge involved in creative work feel more manageable?

Have you ever followed through on a long-held dream only to discover it wasn’t that great after all?

Okay, you already knew that. But you may not have thought about the its implications.

How about this…instead of resolving to do something differently in 2012, try doing things the same way — but only certain things. Resolve to do more of the things that have been working for you or to apply what has worked to new situations.

One of the most powerful questions I use as a coach when helping a client overcome an obstacle is, “What has worked in the past?” The client almost invariably has been in a similar, if not the exact same, situation and figured out something that worked. We just forget what we already know until someone asks us!

For my part, I resolve to continue the following strategies that have been working very well for me:

• Giving myself permission to only do a little, so I don’t resist starting.
• Focusing on what I have accomplished, rather than what I haven’t.
• Focusing on what went right, rather than what went wrong.
• Approaching scary stuff as an experiment and any unpleasant results as useful data.
• Trusting that things will fall into place if I keep taking action.

I can apply these strategies to whatever I want. They are tried and true, and if I resolve to do those things when pursuing the many goals I’ll have in the coming year, I’m sure to succeed.

Your Turn

What has worked for you in the past? How can you apply it in different aspects of your life this year? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Latte art by INeedCoffee

Instead of being a season of peace and joy, this time of year can feel rather frenzied. Between extra social engagements (or the lack thereof), holiday shipping deadlines, shorter days and heightened marketing assaults, it’s easy to get as frothy as the pumpkin spice lattes they’re serving at Starbucks right now.

Some of this is inevitable and comes from our social environment, but if you’re feeling overwhelmed and pressured right now, take a look at how you might be adding to the froth.

Are you setting unrealistic or unnecessarily high expectations for yourself right now?

If you celebrate Christmas, are you wanting the day to be perfect or trying to find the perfect gift for someone?

Are you telling yourself that you need to have all your ducks in a row so you can start 2012 with a bang?

Are you feeling like you’ll turn into a pumpkin by a certain date, like December 25 or January 1, just to pull a couple out of a hat, if you haven’t accomplished X, Y and Z?

Are you putting pressure on the new year to make big changes?

Take a few minutes to consider these questions. Or pull up a pumpkin spice latte and a journal and write out your thoughts about this.

Give yourself the gift of lowered expectations this holiday season. Breathe.

There is no deadline for experiencing peace, joy, love or personal growth.

Photo by Christian Haugen

As a creativity coach, this is a topic that is especially dear to my heart. My work revolves around supporting others in creating, rather than just consuming. A certain level of consumption is, of course, necessary, but have you considered how your level of material consumption can affect your creative output?

Let me count the ways…

1. Buying a lot of stuff can create stress around money.

If you’re a writer, artist or budding entrepreneur who wants to spend more of your life engaged in creative projects that thrill you, having credit card debt hanging over your head is a sure-fire way to squeeze the enthusiasm out of any task that is not likely to be income-producing. That’s not a good kind of pressure to put on your creative work.

2. Many of the most popular holiday purchases are items that can squander precious time.

Let’s face it…most of the things people are purchasing during this spending season will either not get used much at all or will turn into time sucks. Time spent downloading apps for your new Kindle Fire is time you’re not creating.

3. High material consumption reinforces our desire for immediate gratification.

In our creative work, patience is critical. It may take years of practice to develop the skill to make good on your best creative ideas. And while there’s an initial excitement when beginning a creative project, persistence is required to see it through to completion.

By seeking satisfaction in the quick thrill of a new toy, it’s easy to lose sight of all that we gain by working deliberately, staying the course for an extended time, and savoring the process along the way.

4. Consumerism feeds the Comparison Monster.

One of the most powerful creativity killers is comparing your work to the work of others. So often, the sensitive creative spirit will see what others are doing and feel they come up short or that their ideas have already been done. It’s easy to grow discouraged and procrastinate or quit.

To keep your creative flame burning, it’s best to disengage from the comparison game as much as possible. Buying the latest gadgets and following trends can draw you in to that feeling of competition and not measuring up.

5. Having more material resources available can lead to reduced innovation.

Years ago, at a Pampered Chef party, I was amazed at all the different tools that have been invented for very specific food preparation tasks. You can buy a mushroom slicer, spaghetti stirrer, avocado peeler or mango wedger. Hello? Have they never heard of a knife, fork or spoon?

The more resources we have available, the less we need to problem-solve. Necessity is the mother of invention because it’s only when something is missing or lacking that we need to innovate and create something new. If our every whim is easily satisfied with something we just bought at Target, the capacity to develop new ideas can diminish.

6. Having a lot of material possessions can encourage perpetual busyness, which can distract you from the observation and reflection creativity requires.

At a recent doctor visit, if I’d had a smartphone, I would have been using it to work while I waited for the doctor. Instead, I overcame my boredom by taking mental notes about dialogue snippets and sensory details of the experience that I can use in my writing.

Having nothing to do but watch and wonder about the world around you can be just what the Muse ordered.

6 1/2. Material belongings can shield us from the inspiration of our shadow side.

This is really a variation on #6 and the idea that our toys distract us from our inner thoughts. In this case, they allow us to disengage from feelings like guilt, anger, sadness and resentment, emotions that, while uncomfortable, can inspire great works of art. How many songs would be left on your MP3 player if I asked you to delete all the songs about unrequited love?

A Challenge for You

I’m not suggesting you have to live like a monk in order to fulfill your creative intentions. But your creative practice will benefit from more mindfulness about your consumption habits.

This holiday season, take a stand in favor of lower consumption and more creativity in your gift-giving practice.

When making a purchase for yourself or others, ask, “How will this support the journey to a more creative and fulfilling life?”

Some pro-creativity gift ideas:

• Buy gifts that encourage creativity in the user, like art supplies or writing tools.
• Give the gift of a creative class.
• Make a homemade gifts. If you don’t think this will fly in your circles, think of at least one person you think would appreciate it and do it for them.
  
• Give a ticket or coupon for an outing to a museum, play or other performance.
• Support an artist and do your holiday shopping at places like Etsy.
• Join the Simplify the Holidays Challenge sponsored by the Center for a New American Dream.

Other Angles on Consumerism

Be sure to visit  the bloggers who are joining me in writing on this topic today:

Carole Jane Treggett, Merry Debt-Free Holidays: How to Spend Less and Create More Meaning and Value This Year

Sarah O’Leary, Foster Wellness In Your Community: Shop Local and Independent This Holiday Season

Kathy Sprinkle, The Green Christmas Inquiry – 8 ways to Celebrate with Mother Earth’s Blessing

And here’s a related post by Amy Clover: The 4 Commitments: Avoid Holiday Overload

Your Turn

What kinds of impacts does material consumption have on your creative practice ?

What ideas do you have for promoting creativity in your gift giving this year?

Do you sell a product or service that helps others live a more creative and fulfilling life? Feel free to leave a link to your site so we can send you some business!